Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Wanna go halfsies? I do.

So here's a fun little story:

As you can imagine, college students don't exactly rush to the gym on Friday afternoons (well, except for this lean-mean-academic-machine!).  They have...other things to do...  Anyways, last Friday I went to the gym after my last class and and I was joined by oh, twenty or so other students.  Needless to say, it was pretty quiet in there and really I couldn't help but overhear this one conversation:

Dude 1: Hey bro, how's it going?
Dude 2: Oh hey man.  It's good.  It's good.  Pumping iron, getting big, you know.
Dude 1: For sure.  I am just so ready for the weekend, I am going out and partying hard because after this, I have got to hit the books for the semester.
Dude 2: Definitely.  Are you graduating in the spring?

(Ok here comes the crucial part of the conversation, get ready!)

Dude 1: Maybe, maybe not.  I don't know if I'm really feeling this whole job-search situation.  Plus, I figure another semester or two here and I might meet someone.  A couple years from now I'll have settle down, get married, and share half my shit with some girl, so I figure I should start looking now.
Dude 2: Oh yeah, I got you, bro.

Ummmmmm what?  Ok, a few things:
1. That man was not your brother but yeah, you were both totally bro...
2. Hmmm, not really feeling the unemployment thing?  You and the rest of America.
3. On whose dime are you going to school on?  If you're willing to pay for an extra semester or two to avoid looking for a job and increase your odds of finding a girlfriend, can I have some money because you obviously have some extra.
4. Oh silly girl who agrees to marry/share with you.  Silly, silly girl.  Not that I've got a plethora of relationship knowledge in the bank but I'm pretty sure I'm not going out on a limb when I say you're idea of a relationship is a bit skewed.

The things one hears on a college campus...

One more random thing: The other day I spilled about half a bag of mixed frozen berries onto the floor.  Being a college student, the best available clean up tool was a broom.  When I was done, the floor looked like someone had tried to murder one of the Fruit of the Loom guys.  It was "berry" messy - har.har.har.

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